Calm in the Chaos - Tips for a Better Life
Change Your Story & Change Your Life
by Jamie Spannhake
July 19, 2020
I am reading a book recommended by my friend and coach Angela Han of Angela Han Health called Unleash Your Inner Money Babe by . It's a quirky title and a book about manifestation (which I don't always buy into), but it's actually good. And it's a workbook. As a self-professed self-help junkie, I LOVE workbooks. (Perhaps this is one of the reasons I wrote a self-help book and created a companion workbook!)
The exercise in the book today was to list out experiences from the past that had a negative effect on me. So I did this -- I listed TWENTY of them -- and as I was reading through them all, it occurred to me that they were almost all about times that a person or situation made me feel like I wasn't valued or valuable and like I wasn't wanted.
For example,
-Having a tag sale when I was about 11 years old, where I sold my Barbies that I wasn't quite ready to get rid of, to have enough money to go on a youth group trip with my friends
-Experiences with cheating boyfriends (plural: boyfriendS)
-Friends not believing in my dreams
-Being told that I couldn't be a good lawyer if I didn't want to work at least 45 hours a week as a lawyer
-Having a friend decide that she didn't want to be friends anymore
Some of them may not be a big deal, but they FELT like a big deal at the time.
What struck me as I was re-reading my list was that I had let others make me feel a certain way. But I profess that we choose how we feel; others don't choose how we feel. In fact, the one thing we can control is ourselves and our reactions.
My take-away was that I LET someone else make me feel valueless and unwanted. And if I let it happen, then I can let it NOT happen.
This is very powerful and empowering to me as it puts me back in the driver's seat and takes me out of victim mode. It changes my story.
I can choose to feel valuable and wanted. That's the choice I'm going to make. I know I am valuable and wanted. I can't change the past, but I can change how I process it and what story I tell myself based on those experiences.
What story are you living? Is it serving you? How will you empower yourself to change it and change your life?
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